My motto for forgiveness is like Nike says, Just Do It!! Why???
1. Because God said so.
2. Because it's better for us than it is for the other person.
How??? I'll address these things but let's begin with what many of us can relate to regarding forgiveness.
Forgiveness... (deep, long sigh) Forgiveness is often one of those “easier said than done” things. Starting off, like when we’re toddlers, when we do things that hurts us, like touching a hot stove, we usually learn not to do it again. Likewise, when someone hurts us, we learn not to allow them to hurt us again. Often it’s by holding a grudge, remembering the past, or holding on to the hurt we felt. Sometimes we bundle all of the same hurt from several different people, into one sum, like rejection, betrayal, harsh words, etc. Then, we allow that bundle to pile up until one day, one person becomes the last straw and ends up suffering from the load of the whole bundle.
Another alternative route we take is just cutting of people all together. We learn to not trust anymore, not hope anymore, not expect anymore, and just don’t have the strength or courage to give a second chance, open the door for someone new, or start again. It’s all understandable, probably logical and even natural to do so, but still, God tells us to forgive.
Think of it this way...
Some days things happen that trigger the pain others have put me through and I really want to hurt "certain persons". Like, physically punch and fight him. Then, I remember that Christ was crucified for us. I literally visualize it...
In Matthew chapter 27, Christ didn't just walk to the cross, He had to carry His own cross, (pause) after ALREADY being flogged (pause) AND with the thorns in his head! But NOT ONLY THAT, while on His way to the cross, they mocked him AND someone SPIT IN HIS FACE. SPIT IN HIS FACE!!! Aw, NAW!! Naw, naw, naw!! But He kept walking. He didn't stop. He didn't quit, give up, or give in. He didn't turn around. He didn't retaliate. Jesus kept going, and THEN... he was nailed to.... WHAT?! WAIT!!! NAILED??!!! After the first hand, I would've... Naw, before the hammer hit the nail, I would've... Really, all the way back to before the flogging, I probably would have... My point is, It was just thing after thing, reason after reason for it to be the last straw. But Christ didn't back down. His pain and sacrifice humbles me and strengthens me and enables me to forgive and give others some of the grace and mercy God gives me. That Is All. It's that simple. It's just about Christ being the example, pouring into me, RENEWING MY MIND, giving me peace, patience and the rest of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, and being my All and my Everything.
Back to the Just Do It motto...
1. God said so, and 2. it's better for us than it is for the other person.
Forgiveness is more for us than other people. How?? It's to release us from hurt, pain and bitterness. It's not easy to just forgive right away, but the first step is to try by praying to God. Pray that God help you HEAL and help your Heart Be Free, and help you be HUMBLE. Sometimes it's our bruised pride and ego that we must rise above. We must have the self awareness, put in the work, and pray that God help us to not become the people who abuse us, meaning, hopefully we won't inflict pain on someone else or do to someone else as they have done to us. Let the victim not become the offender, let the bullied not become the bully. These scriptures, after reading and applying them in various situations in my life, have helped me with forgiving and healing. (This is also the God said so part...)
Colossians 3:13- Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6: 12 ...and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
Matt. 5: 44 - But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Matt. 5: 43. “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy... 45. In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect
Luke 6: 27- “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. 30 Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. 31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you.
Romans 12:14- Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.... 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.... 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Psalm 110 1. .... “Sit at my right hand until I make your enemies a footstool for your feet.”
It also helps to have someone/Christ to relate to what I'm going through. In the moment of whatever is hurting or triggering me, I know that Christ has already been there and not just felt whatever I'm feeling but feels it as I feel it. So as I strive to be like Christ, I'm so thankful that He already set the example of what to do. Without God I would be extremely angry, bitter, and likely ultra violent. As Paul said in Romans 7:18, (KJV) "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing... OR (CSBA) For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. I feel that the same thing goes for me. I'd be cutting off ******* *** ***** and it would be my pleasure. I'd be * ****** ****** or at least a ******* of men who abuse children and who lie, manipulate, mistreat and cheat on good women. Especially, if I didn't have God. Oh, I'd seek my revenge on people and it would be epic. So, I give praises to the Most High Yah!!! He's the reason for any good in me and without God, ***** and this world would have transformed me into this person years ago.
One scripture that ALWAYS, helps me in every dark situation and when I feel rejected, unwanted, lonely, betrayed, abandoned, unseen, unheard, mistreated, alone, sad, and a plethora of other emotions is Isaiah 53 (NLT).
It says, 53 Who has believed our message? To whom has the Lord revealed his powerful arm?
2 My servant grew up in the Lord’s presence like a tender green shoot,
like a root in dry ground.
There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance,
nothing to attract us to him.
3 He was despised and rejected—
a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.
We turned our backs on him and looked the other way.
He was despised, and we did not care. 4 Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows[a] that weighed him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
a punishment for his own sins!
5 But he was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
6 All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on him
the sins of us all. 7 He was oppressed and treated harshly,
yet he never said a word.
He was led like a lamb to the slaughter.
And as a sheep is silent before the shearers,
he did not open his mouth.
8 Unjustly condemned,
he was led away.[b]
No one cared that he died without descendants,
that his life was cut short in midstream.[c]
But he was struck down
for the rebellion of my people.
9 He had done no wrong
and had never deceived anyone.
But he was buried like a criminal;
he was put in a rich man’s grave. 10 But it was the Lord’s good plan to crush him
and cause him grief.
Yet when his life is made an offering for sin,
he will have many descendants.
He will enjoy a long life,
and the Lord’s good plan will prosper in his hands.
11 When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish,
he will be satisfied.
And because of his experience,
my righteous servant will make it possible
for many to be counted righteous,
for he will bear all their sins.
12 I will give him the honors of a victorious soldier,
because he exposed himself to death.
He was counted among the rebels.
He bore the sins of many and interceded for rebels.
Wow! YES!! GLORY, GLORY!! PRAISE YAH!!
Whatever you've been through or whatever you're going through, Jesus is the example and answer to how to handle it and what to do. Hallelujah! Amen.
When we remember, Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.", we should be more willing to forgive others as God forgives us.
I envision myself being right there in Matthew chapter 27. I'd like to imagine that I would've been one of the ones that stuck by him, but regardless of rather I was Peter, Judas, or Mary, Romans 3:23 is the stamp of humility that should empower us to forgive.
If that's doesn't help, we can also, remember, Matt. 5: 23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
So, before we ask God to forgive us, we must make sure we have forgiven others.
I often pray that God helps me to forgive others as He forgives me. Of course, depending on how bad or hurtful the offense, the level of difficulty increases. So, I know that this can be much easier said than done. Regardless, I encourage you and I also encourage myself... Let's forgive! Let's let go of hurt, pain, grief, bitterness, and grudges! Let's let go of pride, ego, shame, and guilt! Let us heal! Let us thrive! Let us be free of the chains and shadows unforgiveness keeps us in! Let us forgive each other and our own selves! Let It Be Said AND Let It Be Done!!
FORGIVENESS DEFINITIONS:
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